When Strategy Isn’t Enough: Reclaiming the Intuitive Leader Within
Silence
SWOOSH
Not sound, but a sensation of release. For a moment, it felt like my spine had collapsed.
But it didn't hurt; instead, it felt like it had finally snapped back into its truth, years of pressure finally released. I wasn't sure what had happened.
Just then, I heard the familiar closing chant of my Vipassana meditation session. I precariously got up from my meditation cushion, expecting the nagging pain in my sacroiliac joint.
But there was none.
I took a step forward.
I didn't limp.
Cautiously, I took another step – but that sharp shooting pain in my lower back was gone… truly gone.
This was on day 7 of my first 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat.
A miracle? Hmmm, not really….
After a year of transitioning my business entirely online, homeschooling a kindergartner, saving my plants, furniture, and sanity from a teething puppy, and experiencing many more unprecedented shifts in my life, I finally decided to act on my decade-long desire to sign up for a 10-day silent meditation retreat.
Silence – the part I was seeking most, with no expectations attached.
And yet, it became the most challenging part of the retreat.
It was isolating silence in its purest form — no talking, no reading or writing, no tech, no snacking, not even eye contact.
No distraction.
No excuses.
No escape.
It made room for all the memories and the hurt — everything that had happened, and everything that hadn’t — to resurface. All the feelings that my mind had numbed, some consciously and others unconsciously, in an attempt to protect me from the suffering and help maintain an acceptable image. An image that was masked with expectations of a courageous, go-getter, and a “can-do it all” leader.
Numbness that wasn’t just in my mind—but also in that small, unreachable place in my lower back I couldn’t access during the first six days of meditation. I struggled, trying to make sense of the pain behind the memories. It was difficult to see how much of it was shaped by my perception. But slowly, I found space to forgive, let go, and move forward. It took a surprising amount of courage and a lot of tears. And the release…I think it’s what I felt in my spine while meditating.
So no, not a miracle — but maybe a psychosomatic release. Maybe something we call healing.
And maybe, this is the kind of healing most high-achieving, heart-centered leaders never give themselves space for.
We’ve been trained to think our way through pain. To rationalize discomfort. To lead from strategy and suppress the signals from our bodies.
But what if the pain isn’t a problem to solve —
What if it’s a signal we haven’t paused long enough to hear?
The silence didn’t just bring up old memories. It peeled back the layers of who I thought I had to be.
The strong one. The capable one. The “can handle it all” one.
That version of me could lead, sure —
but mostly through overdrive.
Mostly through pressure.
Mostly through doing.
And leadership that’s disconnected from the body, from presence, from the truth beneath the mask?
That’s the fast track to burnout.
But here’s what surprised me after the retreat:
When I allowed those old identities to fall away — what emerged wasn’t emptiness.
It was intuition.
The kind that had always been there… but buried under years of overthinking and overdoing.
I could hear it clearly now.
I could feel what was true.
And with that came a quiet kind of confidence I hadn’t known before.
Less reactivity.
More creativity.
Less control.
More discernment.
If you're a leader who’s always on, always needed, always figuring it out — here’s what I want you to know:
The parts of you that you’ve numbed in order to survive might be the very parts that hold the wisdom for how you’re meant to lead.
And when you’re ready to listen, here’s how I can support your journey inward:
The Eucalyptus Energy Experience
If you’re too busy to slow down, but know something has to change.
A 1:1 Energy Leadership™ Index (ELI) assessment and debrief to help you uncover the unconscious patterns driving your stress, reactivity, and decision-making.
This is your starting point for self-awareness — and the first step toward leading from intuition, not old conditioning.The Sandalwood Coaching Experience
If you’re self-aware — but still not sure how to lead from that place.
This is where we integrate. We’ll discern what’s intuition, what’s conditioning, and what success actually means to you now.
We’ll build a strategy rooted in self, not just survival.The Embodied Leadership Experience
If your body is asking you to stop, soften, or listen — this is for you.
Viniyoga-based personal yoga sessions that combine āsana, breath, chant, and meditation.
This is a path of self-inquiry — not self-optimization — that helps you reconnect to inner wisdom beyond the noise.
This is the work of conscious leadership.
Less noise. More knowing.
Less proving. More presence.
Less pressure. More power — the quiet kind.
Can’t decide or looking for a customized approach, let’s connect.